I work with so many bright, hard-working, successful women who are consistently hitting “ceilings,” both internally and externally. When the cause is not addressed, these limiting beliefs often stop them from realizing their full potential.
The great news is that when they implement these powerful strategies, my clients consistently project their SPARKLE 2.0 version; confident and present. They can then effectively advocate for themselves and other women. This consistently happens when I’ve introduced these concepts to thousands of women, including those in male-dominated professions, such as the energy, legal, financial, transportation and advertising industries.
I’ve identified Six Sassy Steps to Shatter Your Inner and Outer Glass Ceiling and help you own your power, your passion, your voice in a way you’ve always desired but never dreamed possible.
Shatter Your Inner Glass Ceiling
1) You’ve Got To Name It To Claim It
Unless you can identify the limiting beliefs/behaviors that prevent you from reaching the level of success you crave, you can’t do anything about it. One of mine, hands down, is second-guessing myself. Do you second-guess yourself? Yes? No? Aren’t sure?
It’s important to be an investigator in your own life and look at the origins of where your beliefs come from. For me, it was crystal clear. One day my Dad said, “Girlfriend you’re being a little too strong.” Yikes! He could’ve used a dozen different adjectives that wouldn’t have affected me at all. But as a little girl being told that being strong was bad, it slayed me.
I started to beige myself out. That’s when I began to distrust myself. Because I thought I was too much, second-guessing became my default mode. This is not about vilifying anyone. My Dad was an extraordinary role model for me. Rather it’s an example of why it’s so important to identify the origin of our beliefs. It wasn’t until years later that I made the connection between second-guessing myself and my desire not to upset those around me.
2) Address Your Triggers Or They Will Control You
I have a client that when she says, “That’s a fee I feel comfortable with,” I mimic an EMS siren and say, “Emergency approaching!” We laugh because it means she’s about to give away her services for much less than the market will bear. Her statement goes on her trigger list because it’s an indicator she’s in danger of self-sabotaging her success. Our new goal is for her to feel deliciously uncomfortable in service of what makes her SPARKLE.
I have clients create an Owner’s Manual that list their top 10 triggers. This works because when they can identify their mental, emotional and physical Achilles heel they have a better chance of slowing down the film, and advocating for themselves.
Here are a few examples:
• A potential client saying, “You’re the only I can turn to right now.”
• Being given conflicting messages from your boss regarding your performance.
• Your stomach feels like it’s having a heart attack.
Want to learn how Untrigger Your Stress in Five Minutes or Less? Click Here.
3) Practice Makes Progress
Perfection is an illusion that will keep you binging on Haagen Dazs, beating yourself up and lolling in your nightgown until 5pm. Give it up. It’s been said it takes 21 days to create a new habit and 90 days for the habit to become second nature. Expect and accept some setbacks before implementing new thoughts and behaviors. Celebrate each victory, big and small.
Shatter Your Outer Glass Ceiling
4) Move From Criticism To Curiosity
My relationship with food and my body transformed 30 years ago – not overnight and not perfectly. I still participate in recreational eating and chocolate therapy. However, this all changed in the middle of an attack from my Itty-Bitty-Committee (IBC), the inner critic in my head I call Slash. Yup, I gave her a name, outfit, and accessories to match. Instead, I heard a kind voice, beckoning me to be curious and ask why. This shift from criticism to curiosity changed my life and it can change yours. When you hit an Ouch! moment when your Slash starts yammering away, you have an extraordinary opportunity. You can stop, breathe, and send love to the part of you that is hurting and say, “Sweetheart what can I learn? What can I get curious about? How can I grow?” It won’t be an overnight process, but if you commit to learning, to be curious and to be kind to yourself, this practice will transform your life.
5) Make Sure Your Overall Presentation Is In Alignment With What You Want
This is a big one. The bottom line is how you present yourself in terms of word choices, tone, body language and physical presentation is everything. If one is incongruent, there will be a disconnect in how you’re perceived. This isn’t about checking your true self at the door but about making sure all aspects of your presentation align with your goals.
A senior-level client was frustrated she wasn’t getting the respect she deserved. We discussed many of her sentences ended with an upward inflection, sending a message that she questioned her own expertise. Also, her appearance didn’t reflect her stature. The solution?
We worked on speaking in statements rather than questions and revamped her wardrobe to one that was feminine, upscale and professional. People took notice very quickly. Her male boss, who genuinely believed in her, but in the wake of the “#MeToo movement,” had felt uneasy discussing these issues. It turns out that nothing keeping her back had anything to do with her competence, but it had everything to do with not properly representing her organization’s brand along with her own authority. Once we corrected these two areas, she felt a new confidence.
6) Actively Advocate For Yourself And For Other Women
The more women support each other, the quicker we can shatter both the inner and outer glass ceiling that is ever-present.
It’s simple; help each other. Help others to help you. Make requests, not demands. Don’t apologize. Be specific with what you desire, whether it’s a board invitation, being included in a meeting, or working on a project. Don’t make it a fortress of females, include men – they want to help you too.
We must commit to shifting our mindset as well as our methodology. When we do that, we change the conversations and prevailing perceptions. The more women own their voice and power the greater impact we’ll have in the world. And everyone wins!
How about you? Looking to energize, engage and elevate the women on your team or organization to shatter their inner and outer glass ceiling? Lois knows these Six Sassy steps really work!
Looking for a speaker who will instill in your audience the “Courage to Sparkle” and “create a life that lights you up” in this ever changing world?Lois uses humor, energy and science to support companies and individuals to outwit their obstacles, live lusciously and thrive professionally. Lois Barth Delivers Powerful Solutions in a Playful Way! Book Lois today: https://bit.ly/2K4ljhx