“You Made Your Bed, Now Lie In It”

IMG_1795It was an expression I heard from my mother, who heard it from her mother, who heard it from hers, and so on, and so on. And in years past I watched women use that expression as an excuse to graciously accept a fate that had befallen them. It was used as a cloak of martyrdom, a magnet of pitied attention from their peers. It was used as a security blanket, protecting them from a bigger fear, the fear of change, that was actually more frightening than the devil they faced. And so the words became to me a representation of a cop out. You chose this life, so suck it up.

I’m a motivational speaker, so I’m all about perspective and attitude being the golden keys to changing your life. I fully believe that just because you made your bed, doesn’t mean it can’t be messed up and made over. It is never too late to change your life and become the person you want to be. I believe in hope and second chances. And I will die believing that the best is yet to come.

But I also believe in personal responsibility and taking ownership of the choices you have made. And that there is no place for wallowing. You either change it, or accept your choice. Which brings me right back to this expression and its flip side – its truth. It comes into play once you have made that commitment and are called to act on it.

I once took a gig that I shouldn’t have taken. My heart said it was a bad idea. My head said it was a bad idea. Every warning bell rang loud and clear. But I took it. I committed. I gave my word. I reached the place where there was no going back. And I spent days and weeks and precious hours whining about it to anyone who would listen until I whined about it to my friend Meredith who said, “So you shouldn’t have accepted the job. Next time you won’t. But this time you did. It’s done. Now quit whining and make something good out of it.”

It was the equivalent of “You made your bed now lie in it.” And she was right. Time spent agonizing over the choice we made is wasted time. It adds bitterness to our lives. It robs us of joy and peace. And it irritates the crap out of the people who have to be around us, as our bad mood infects everything. We allow one bad choice to turn into hundreds of bad moments. And I don’t know about you, but life has enough pain without me adding to it. I choose joy. I choose not to let one bad decision turn into a year of misery. Even though my choice may have been bad, or even just necessary, I will make something good out of it.

“I made my bed. Now I will happily jump on it.” Kelly Swanson

What about you? Are you letting your decision affect your happiness? Is it time to let it go?


Kelly Swanson

All of motivational speaker Kelly Swanson’s shows are customized to fit your audience.  No matter what program you choose, Kelly will create something filled with laughter start to finish, powerful stories that make you sit on the edge of your seat, and the perfect amount of content and message to fit the event, audience, and time frame. Being a motivational speaker and entertainer, Kelly’s shows are best suited for opening and closing keynotes, as well as general sessions. Kelly will offer breakout sessions, workshops, and other ways to fit what she does to what you need. Her goal is to help you make your event unforgettable. To invite Kelly to be your next Keynote Speaker contact sue@simplysuespeaks.com or call 1-888-766-3155 today. 


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