It is a powerful word when used occasionally to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned, and, according to author Sean Dsouza, it can also become a defensive excuse for not taking responsibility for what happens in our lives!
Have you ever said “I would love to be living my dream, but I don’t have the money and opportunities others do?” Or how about this one, “I have applied everywhere, but everyone says I am overqualified?” This one, which is specific to our industry, “I was the perfect speaker for that event, but they don’t pay speakers anymore.”
Or the classic, “I was the best candidate for the job, but I knew they wouldn’t hire me because of my age.”
What messages do these “buts” say about the person proclaiming it, and how are others supposed to react? Words say what our mindset is feeling, and to keep in this mode is very distracting to others and can become devastation to the success we seek.
Is it possible to have a life with “no buts?” Want to make a change? Here are some ways to begin:
- Recognize that you are being defensive and not taking responsibility for your actions so that the ‘buts’ win, both in your words and life.
- Take a look at your mindset and see if you are fixed on the failures or learning from the daily growth experiences that failure brings.
- Check out who you associate with. Do they allow the ‘buts’ to take over their mindset and words?
- Make a choice and decision to change.
Two words I am working at deleting from my own and others’ conversation and mindset are: ‘try’ instead do or do not, and ‘but’ instead use and. Will you join me?
CEO- Remarkable! A Speakers Bureau